My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
being pregnant is like rehab
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
