I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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