I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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