that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
