I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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