Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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