He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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