I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
