Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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