Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The adults are the big ones right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
