Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Porn is love you can see.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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