oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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