We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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