Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
