very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
