A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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