he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
