consequently i now know what mace tastes like
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
