At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
