my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
