No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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