My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just google imaged poop.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
