If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
