I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
