you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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