Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
