Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
porn star boner night. come get it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
