She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
