I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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