3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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