I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
