You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
