this boner is exhausting
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
