You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
