The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
