i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
