I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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