I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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