the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
either way he was missing a nipple.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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