I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
