I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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