We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
