Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
