I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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