just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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