There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
