That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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