I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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