Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
