Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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