I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
