My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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